Storytelling Week 5: The Kitten’s Big Responsibility
“I’m so excited!” the kitten thought to herself.
You see, today was a big day for the kitten.
The kitten’s mom worked for a lion. Her job was to scare away the mice at night. The mice had a tendency to steal leftover food from the lion’s mouth while he was sleeping, which would disturb his sleep patterns and make him very groggy the next day. The cat kept the mice away and worked her way up to a position of power and became a very respected member in the animal community.
Tonight, however, the cat was going away for personal business and asked the kitten to take over watch. The cat would only be gone for the day, but without someone to watch the mice, things would get out of hand. Keeping the lion happy was the number one priority! The kitten was ecstatic at the chance to work the job. Not only did the kitten love scaring mice, but she also wanted to prove to her mom how great of a worker she was.
That night, while she was on watch, the kitten had a great idea!
“What if I show my mom how hardworking I am by killing the mice! Then mom’s work won’t be as hard when she comes back!”
The kitten was so proud of herself for coming up with the plan. She just knew she would be praised by her mom, and maybe even by the lion himself! With her quick kitten-like reflexes, she was the perfect candidate for this job!
The lion was snoring peacefully as the kitten got to work. She was killing mice left and right, silently creeping behind shrubs and trees, pouncing at the right moment! The mice didn’t know what hit them. They were dropping like flies! They had never known a cat to kill them, only scare them, so they weren’t fearful for their lives until it was too late. By the end of the night, there were no more live mice left.
By morning, the kitten had produced a large pile dead mice for her mother to see. When her mother got there, she was appalled by what she saw. She reprimanded her kitten for killing all of the mice, for she knew she would no longer have a job. Realizing that she had never specifically told the kitten to not kill the mice, she accepted the blame.
That day, realizing the cat’s job was unnecessary now, the lion fired the cat.
The kitten felt horrible, but at least now she had more time with her mom! The cat and the kitten went on their way to find work in a new village, for they were no longer needed in this one.
Author’s Note: This story comes from the Tales of a Parrot unit, specifically the story, The Old Lion and the Cat. The original story was very similar to mine. The difference in the original version and my version is that in the original version the kitten did not have its own point of view I decided to give the kitten a voice of its own and explain her side of the situation. I really like giving a voice to characters that originally do not have one in the stories.
I have cats of my own, and though cats can be jerks sometimes, I know a lot of the times when they ruin things it’s innocent. I thought the kitten’s mess-up was innocent as well, so I wrote about it!
I also think seeing both sides of a story is really important in every day situations. I think a lot of the time when people mess up it is purely by accident or from a misunderstanding. I know I keep myself calmer when I think about this, and it's easier to let things go. Hopefully this story helps you all think about all sides of a situation, which will hopefully result in less conflict!
I have cats of my own, and though cats can be jerks sometimes, I know a lot of the times when they ruin things it’s innocent. I thought the kitten’s mess-up was innocent as well, so I wrote about it!
I also think seeing both sides of a story is really important in every day situations. I think a lot of the time when people mess up it is purely by accident or from a misunderstanding. I know I keep myself calmer when I think about this, and it's easier to let things go. Hopefully this story helps you all think about all sides of a situation, which will hopefully result in less conflict!
Bibliography: From the book, The Tooti Nameh or Tales of a Parrot by Ziya’al-Din Nakhshabi (1801)
I loved this story about a hapless and very cute kitty. The picture you included (aptly titled, I might add) was excellent for the story you wrote - and the cat looks very much like a Maine Coon, which is quite wonderful
ReplyDeleteI did notice, however, that there were quite a few exclamation points throughout the text. Perhaps cutting these down a bit and using them more sparingly would allow you to drive home certain points while letting others form the background narration to the story.
Additionally, I would have liked to have known more about the setting of the story; although it is described in passing, it is never really fully supported with graphic imagery and vivid recreations. As a reader, I think that would give context to your story and make it more "real." I also think that discussing the cat on more personal - or omniscient - terms as a narrator would allow you to create a situation in which the reader is more sympathetic to the cat's silly mistake.
Heather,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story. The image you included perfectly illustrates this story. By just looking at the picture I could tell what this story was going to be about. The cat's guilty expression in the image makes it even more perfect.
While I was reading the story, I had a hard time predicting the ending. I really did not know what to expect. I liked how even though the little kitty made her mom lose her job, it still ended well. It had a happy ending with the kitty and her mom looking for new opportunities.
I thought your story was so cute! The kitten’s innocence and naivete really make you feel badly when she causes her mom to lose her job, but at least they are optimistic and will find a new job together! I thought the way you told the story was very engaging and fun to read, and the change of point of view made the story really interesting. The entire time I was just imagining an adorable little kitten who chases after the mice around a sleeping lion, and the mental image is just too cute! I really felt you communicated the enthusiasm of the kitten well, as taking on such a responsibility would certainly be an exciting day for her.
ReplyDeleteOverall, I think your story flowed really well and was really well written! I agree with Cole that I think a few of the exclamation marks were probably unnecessary, but I think you did a great job other than that!
I really enjoyed reading your story. I like how you kept the storyline very similar to the original, but changed the point of view that it was told from. I also think the story sends a good message- you should do what you are told, and if you want to do more, just ask before taking matters into your own hand!
ReplyDeleteYour story was very good. I have never read the Old Lion and the Cat so I was not familiar with the origin. You giving the kitten it’s own perspective was an excellent idea. I also have a cat, I would not say she is a jerk but I would say that she is most definitely ornery. I like that you also gave the kitten a voice through the quotations. I wish that there were more descriptions and detail to the story. It was very cut and dry. I think it was also kind of under played that the mother cat had lost her job. It seems like the kitten did not really realize the consequences of her actions but I also think that the mother cat got her dues for lying to her child. The ending was nice though. I like that they were able to find a new job and home. I hope that they learned their lessons.
ReplyDelete